And She's Gone
by PortalPanda
Summary: Pink Pearl can't find her Diamond. Pearl has to tell her where she went.


The night after the battle with the Diamonds, the Crystal Gems gathered in Pink Diamond's room; sleeping, and making plans, and sitting in silence. The atmosphere was cozy and drowsy; relaxed. Everyone was tired from the fight earlier that day, but also hopeful for the future and nostalgic for the past.

Pearl watched all of this with a pleasant sort of pain, and wondered what Rose would think if she could only see them now. If she only could've known that one day, in this room where she'd spent so much time agonizing over earth, and experienced so much pain and fear, her beloved Crystal Gems would be celebrating their victory in securing the planet's safety.

No sooner had Pearl thought this than Steven appeared at her side.

For as long and hard as he had fought for today's victory, he didn't look nearly as happy as he should've been— though it wasn't hard to see why when she followed his gaze.

Pink Pearl had entered the room, unnoticed by anyone else. She stood there looking lost as she gazed around at all the pink, and in that moment Pearl knew exactly what she was feeling— knew she was searching for something she wouldn't find.

"I guess someone needs to tell her," Steven said quietly.

At that, Pearl bit back a sad smile. Exhausted as he was, Steven was still trying to take care of everyone else. It hadn't really struck her until then how tired he looked— he was practically drooping, and had dark circles under his eyes.

She couldn't help but wonder what he'd been through while she and the other gems had been… absent.

Pearl gave him a soft smile, and some maternal instinct brought her to run a hand through his hair.

"I'll do it." Steven looked surprised, comforted, and a little like he wanted to argue. At that her gaze turned a tad more stern. "You should get some sleep. You've had a long day."

To her surprise Steven only nodded, and wrapped his arms around her legs in a hug.

"Goodnight, Pearl."

It had been a while since he'd done this, but she remembered that when he was little he would do it every night. Pearl knelt to his level to give him a proper hug, and held him for a moment longer than was strictly necessary.

"Goodnight, Steven."

Once she released him he went over to the bed the pebbles had built, curled up next to Connie, and fell asleep instantly. The other gems were sitting nearby, and most watched this with a fond smile. No Diamond would dare hurt Steven now— he couldn't be more safe.

But speaking of Diamond damage…

Pearl took a deep breath before she made her way to the other side of the room, where Pink Pearl stood.

"Hello," She said gently.

This had little effect on Pink Pearl, who looked to be on the verge of a meltdown.

"I can't find her!" She said, half delirious, "I've looked everywhere I can think of! Where is she?"

"It's alright." Pearl said (lied) calmly. "Why don't we sit down?"

That wasn't something that Pearls were allowed to do very often, but Pink Pearl seemed to understand that the rules were changing. Pearl sat down on the Pebble's couch, and her counterpart copied her reluctantly.

"What do you remember?" Pearl asked. That seemed like a good place to start.

Pink Pearl stared down at her hands.

"Pink got in trouble. She always gets into trouble. But this time… it was bad." She looked up. Pearl tried not to swallow as she met what was left of her eyes. "They took me away from her. I didn't want to leave her, and she didn't want them to take me, but— they took me away. And they brought me— they brought me to White." At that name her voice became hushed. "She was angry at Pink. So she punished me." She touched the fractured light where her eye used to be. Her hands were shaking. "After that I was hers. I thought that if I did a good enough job serving her, she might let me return to Pink. I waited a very long time to ask, but even then White became very angry and—" She stopped. "I don't remember what happened after that."

Pearl looked away. She knew her own life had been difficult at times, but even she couldn't imagine what being forcibly taken from Pink (Rose?) would feel like, only to spend six thousand years with White Diamond afterwards. She felt more empathy for the gem next to her than she could ever express.

Pearl knew that she had done the right thing in sending Steven to bed, but part of her thought dismally that he was better at dealing with these sorts of things (feelings) than she was.

"All of that happened about six thousand years ago." She said, giving Pink Pearl a sad smile. "White controlled you for a very long time."

"Where is Pink?" She begged.

Pearl blinked back the tears pricking at her eyes. If their roles were reversed, how would she want to be told?

"I was given to her after White took you away." She said, meeting Pink Pearl's eyes. The other gem flinched. "I joined her on her colony, where she eventually fought against the other diamonds for her freedom, and the freedom of her world. And she won. She lived the rest of her days in peace… until…"

Until…

Pearl looked across the room at Steven, and felt a pang of protectiveness and guilt.

"Until what?" Pink Pearl asked, already weeping.

"She… she gave up her physical form to create a new life."

"What?"

"I'm so sorry."

"You mean- she's gone?" Pink Pearl sobbed, doubling over, "She can't be gone! I don't understand! All I ever wanted was to get back to her— to make her happy! What am I supposed to do without her?"

Pearl sat in silence as she allowed the gem next to her to grieve. Part of her wanted to try to comfort her, but she remembered that she hadn't really wanted comfort when she first lost Rose— and besides, it wasn't as if the two of them really knew each other. There was only one thing she could think of that might make the other gem feel better.

After a long while Pearl asked, "What do you want to do?"

Pink Pearl blinked as she looked up at her, tears still streaming down her face.

"What do… I want?"

"Yes." Pearl smiled gently, but there was a fierce light in her eyes. "You can decide for yourself, now. If you like, you can stay here on Homeworld. Or you could return to Earth with us."

"Earth?"

"Pink's world."

Something in Pink Pearl's eyes softened.

"I think… I'd like to see that."

"There's something else you should see, too. Someone else."

Pearl smiled as she pointed across the room to Steven.

"Who's that?"

"That is Pink's son. Steven."

"Steven." Her voice was small, but Pearl detected a fragile note of hope. "Is he like her?"

"Yes. And no." Pearl smiled, once again feeling more emotions than she could put into words. "If you thought Pink made you feel loved… just wait until you meet Steven." 

Steven slept, and two Pearls watched with protectiveness and hope.

"I know it's a lot to take in at once, and I know that getting through this won't be easy. There really isn't a through." Pearl said, smiling sadly. "But she's not gone. Not completely. And you're not alone."

There were still tears in her eyes, but Pink Pearl managed a smile.

"Thank you."


End file.
